· Educate yourself – Use books, internet, help lines.
· Be prepared for them not to admit it.
· They may not be willing to give up.
· They may claim to accept they need help, or that there is even a problem.
· Seek treatments from professional sources, ideally those who specialise in eating disorders.
· Be aware that patience is crucial, it will not be an overnight result – it may take months or years to fully overcome it.
· Relapses may occur.
· Be prepared to participate in all their suggestions, even at your own expense.
· Be clear and inflexible about your stance. Do not fear temporarily upsetting the sufferer in order to do better for them in the long run.
· Remain upbeat, optimistic and supportive.
· Show and express affection in a number of ways to ensure that the sufferer is fully aware that they are loved and that they are not being forced to do something, not in their best interest.
· Ensure conversation revolves around other things than their food and their weight. They should not feel that is all you are interested in.
· Do not bully or belittle the sufferer in order to get your way, it will provoke a defensive response.
· The sufferer should be forced to replace the food they eat, or to clean up the mess they make.
· Encourage the sufferer to eat with the rest of the family during meal times but do not force them.
· Prevent the sufferer from dictating what the rest of the family eats.
· Do not provide the sufferer with a separate meal just for them.
· Do not turn meal times into a battle of determination.
· Do not constantly judge, watch or comment on the sufferers eating.
· Do not apologise or make excuses for the sufferers eating habits.
· Do not become the professional; do not supply masses of information to the sufferer on top of the professional help they will be receiving already.
· Do not make emotional blackmail comments. Comments like ‘Your habits are destroying this family’.
· Do not allow the sufferer to blackmail, manipulate, guilt-trip, blame or bribe those looking to help them.
· Do not assess or focus blame for the eating disorder.
· Do not try to prevent the sufferer from suffering the natural pain that will occur as consequences of their disorder. The pain will scare and motivate the sufferer to the road of recovery.
· Do not retract your support or place boundaries on how far you are willing to go to help.
· Do not exhaust yourself or place the sufferer’s needs before your own. Otherwise you could be jeopardising your own health.
