Bullying

Of all the types of abuse, surprisingly the most recently identified as being in a category of its own is Bullying. This area of Abuse has existed since humans started interacting with each other and is associated with both Physical and Emotional Abuse.

Bullying is a deliberate action or behaviour directed towards another person which may take many forms and can often occur over a lengthy period of time.

Bullying is unfortunately very common within football. From the youngest of children to the dressing rooms of high level players Bullying is often seen as the way to get things done. Often it is defended by the argument that it’s ‘the only way I can get the players to perform and because it happened to me (and didn’t do me any harm) I pass it on to my players’. This could not be further from the truth for many young (and older) players who have lost the enthusiasm for the game because they were bullied. They may ultimately leave the game through Bullying by a coach or manager (or peers) when blamed as a scapegoat for a poor result, or for underperforming (in the Adults opinion), or not being good enough, or worst of all because the Adult does not have the correct skills to deal with the situation positively OR enough football knowledge to actually pinpoint what actually happened. Some parents Bully their children into playing football even if they know the child does not want to play. Often a Father or Mother will try to live out their ambitions for football through the lives of their children. In the most extreme cases Children have taken their own lives as a result of Bullying and their despair at not being able to break free from a continuous Bullying cycle.

Bullying can be carried out in a number of ways :-

• Verbal taunting (shouting or screaming at).
• Name calling (sometimes nicknames).
• Using threats or gesturing that a threat is being made.
• Racist remarks.
• Sexist remarks.
• Homophobic remarks.
• Sarcastic remarks.
• Ridiculing and humiliation.
• Unwanted abusive comments of a sexual nature.
• Constantly referring to a previous incident that serves to repeatedly embarrass

As well as:-

• Physical abuse (hitting, kicking, scratching etc).
• Unnecessary physical contact – invading personal space to cause uneasiness.
• Stealing from the victim.
• Ignoring and isolating a victim.
• Using the written word – graffiti, letters or poems to humiliate.

Most recently greater access to Technology has gifted the Bullies with another medium to use- that of Mobile phones and the Internet. Bullies using the internet can now identify a victim and pass these details to peers by use of chatlines or by posting video recordings of the victims on the web for everyone to see. Texting threatening messages to victims has become a very serious and widespread form of Bullying.

Bullying is a deliberate act, often repeated over a period of time and often targeted at young people who are unable or unwilling to defend themselves. A number of surveys and researches have been done in the area of Bullying and some of the findings may seem obvious but others may surprise and shock.

• Youngsters regarded Bullying as the most common cause of distress.
• When Bullying takes place the most common target is the victims personal characteristics, which may include; colour of hair, race, size, lack of native language, weight, birthmark, teeth, ears, dress, religion, disability, accent or dialect.

This is why coaches and managers have to be aware of nicknames that may seem ‘funny’ or sometimes ‘strange’ because they do not know their origin and even though it’s an accepted name in the peer group it may prove to be both embarrassing and hurtful to the player concerned. Football abounds with nicknames ‘Chippy’, ‘Scouser’, ‘Geordie’, ‘Leftie’, ‘Spanner’ etc and whilst the majority are names that the player may accept and even encourage we must be aware of names that have a more sinister origin.

Can a coach or a manager identify a victim in order to prevent possible Bullying?

Anyone can be the target of Bullying irrespective of their physical size or standing within the group. However many victims are more vulnerable because they are shy and sensitive, but being shy and sensitive does not necessarily mean that person will be a target for Bullying.

Bullies will Bully for all sorts of reasons not least of all because they at some stage may have been Bullied themselves, what is vitally important for adults involved with teams is that they are aware of the possibility and take every action to remove it from the team. Each team formulating an Anti-Bullying Policy and making the players, parents, coaches and officials of the club aware will ensure that they are adopting a whole team approach and will highlight the ethos that Bullying is not accepted by this team in any shape or form.

How can coaches and managers who are not ‘experts’ in this area actually do something positive apart from the acknowledgment of an Anti Bullying Policy. Seeing an individual or a group being isolated and ignored on a regular basis should be a warning enough for action to be taken. As well as group vigilance they can always be vigilant for physical signs that may persist as a result of Bullying.

Signs to be aware of:-

• A reluctance to train or play with excuses for not wanting to play – leg pains, stomach upset, headache or ‘not feeling well’.
• Shortage of money or lack of expected possessions.
• Damaged kit or possessions.
• Bed wetting.
• Sleepless nights.
• Unexplained bruises , cuts or marks received ‘play fighting’ or ‘messing about’ .

There are also a number of behaviours which individually may not mean anything but if they occur with others may suggest a serious problem:-

• Not wanting to train or play with certain individuals.
• Loss of concentration (out of character).
• Player becoming withdrawn, not wanting to mix, reacting inappropriately to trivial incidents.
• Physical performances dropping below standards previously reached.
• Not waiting with others after session finished

How does the coach / manager deal with Bullying once they have identified it?

• All Bullying has to be taken seriously.
• Follow your teams Anti Bullying / Child Protection Policy guidelines.
• Listen to everyone (directly involved or not) record information and state your intention to take the appropriate action.
• Involve your Child Protection Officer and share your concerns with other adults they may have had suspicions but up till now had nothing concrete to deal with.
• Involve parents / carers.
• Attempt to encourage a change in behaviour from the Bully (s).
• To highlight the theme (not necessarily the incident being investigated) a talk on the subject perhaps with an external speaker might serve to promote a change in behaviour.
• If necessary involve the club committee if the matter is serious enough.
• If the matter is extremely serious and physical welfare is a concern then pass the case on to the relevant authorities.

Example of an Anti Bullying Policy

WINTHELOT ROVERS

As part of our clubs Procedures and Code of Conduct (which everyone has signed on registering) we expect all players, parents, officials of the club as well as spectators to adhere to the following policy.

Bullying is unwanted behaviour (s) that can be of a racial, sexual or intimidating nature that is intended to cause humiliation, hurt or embarrassment to the victim.

It may be directed towards an individual or a group but is unwanted and considered to be offensive or insulting to the recipient. It may be physical contact (striking hitting or kicking etc) or a close unwanted physical presence. It may be intimidation, name calling, ridiculing, stealing from, sharing offensive or humiliating material about a person or deliberately isolating a person in training or at games.

The club believes that all players, parents and officials should show the same respect to each other as they would expect for themselves. If any person associated with the club is proved to be involved in Bullying they will be brought before the club committee to answer the allegation – which should the allegation be proved it will certainly result in immediate sanction (s) by the club and possible in expulsion in extreme and continued cases.

If you are a victim of Bullying or you have seen another child or children being bullied there are a number of options open to you.

• Do you feel you can deal with it yourself?
• Can you ask the person / people concerned to stop after making your feelings known to them and the effect it is having on you. If you can do this and you are successful then well done.
• If you feel you cannot deal with it, speak to a member of the coaching staff or the committee and they will certainly investigate the problem and either deal with it themselves or at committee level and if this does not solve the problem they may need to refer it to more experienced or qualified people.